I Can't Stand My Marriage! What Should I Do?

Yep, it happens to almost all of us. We come to a place where our marriage feels completely unbearable.

How hard can it get?

A missionary friend of mine, Joshua Paul, wrote about his experience in his book, Comfort or Cross.

 "The toughest years of my life were the first five years of my marriage... I tried to please my wife the best I could so that I could have peace in the house..." 

"...not a day passed without a fight. Let me be honest how bad it got--I wanted to be dead, rather than continue in marriage. My wife felt the same way. Life was intolerable!"

"I feared that my failure at marriage would forever scar my children and make them mistrust marriage."

How hard can marriage can get? "I wanted to be dead." That's how hard it can get! 

My friend is happily married now (to the same woman) and a dynamic follower of Christ. What was it that saved his marriage and ministry from complete disaster?

Was it professional counseling? Nope. Was it a time of separation? Nope. Listen to what he says in his book about what healed his troubled marriage.

"But one night, in the sixth year of our marriage, a miracle happened. Our son Jack Davis was almost two years old, and my wife and I were having our regular evening exchange of angry words. Suddenly, little Jack said, "Daddy, let's pray together." He pushed my neck and my wife's neck down in an attitude of prayer, and with his little, cute words he asked all of us to pray. Our whole family knelt down and prayed together for a few minutes then we all went to bed in peace."

 "...we had never sat together and prayed as a family. Friends, we started family prayer that night and continue that practice to this day. The nightly fights between my wife and me are over. Now our fight is only against the enemy of our souls, and we are joined together in that fight. This is a great and lasting victory in our household."

"...we were practically ready to commit murder or suicide or be divorced. Everything changed because we started to pray together as a family."

As someone who counsels couples with marital struggles I often look for more sophisticated answers before considering the obvious. I have to wonder how many marriages could be saved if couples would humbly kneel down together and unite their hearts in prayer?

Of all the activities that we as Christians can participate in, it seems to me that prayer should be at the top of our list. Personal and family prayer time help connect us to God. Jesus certainly emphasized prayer in his teachings and by his example. 

It follows that if we want healthy marriages we should seek God and His blessings through family prayer. How simple! How powerful!