To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Spanking has become somewhat of a debate in America. In some parts of the country spanking is regarded as "old fashioned" and "outdated". Here in the south, where I live, it is still mostly accepted as a legitimate form of discipline.

Where do I stand on the spanking debate? I've decided that, clearly, I did not get enough "tail whippings" when I was little. (Just ask my wife.) It wasn't my parents fault. I was a master at flying under the radar. 

When my dad decided to "warm" my "heinie" I got it with a belt. He always made it count. I never walked away saying, "I don't think he's all that serious about this." I walked away knowing that a boundary had been set that I wasn't supposed to cross.

As a side note: Yes, heinie is a real word. Look it up on thesaurus.com for a few laughs.

When my mom decided I needed my bottom smacked she used a wood kitchen spoon. Which was worse, the belt or the spoon, you may ask? I will just say that both were equally effective.

Well, I could just go on forever about the old days but that would be embarrassing.

Questions you may have about spanking.

Should all parents spank their children?

No! There are moms and dads who should not. Certain kinds of problems can make corporal punishment risky. 

For example, if you have anger/rage issues you should find other forms of discipline. Substance abuse is another red flag. If you are impaired by any kind of mind altering medication you need to consider not spanking.

If you cannot measure out physical punishment with self control and a clear head just don't do it. There are other options.

When should I spank?

• When there is willful disobedience.
• When you have been clear that such behavior requires punishment.
• When the child is old enough to understand.
• When it won't embarrass the child in front of others.
• While the child is young and before he is set in his ways.
• As soon as possible after the infraction. (Delays are sometimes unavoidable.)
• When a lesser penalty won't work.
• When you are in control of your own attitude and actions.

 Parents should keep in mind that every child is different. You may have one that is so strong willed that spanking doesn't work. You'll have to find other ways to bend his will. Another child may be so sensitive to your displeasure that it takes only a small scolding to redirect his behavior.

The best age range for spanking is between 1 and 5 years old. If you teach your children at an early age to obey it is better than waiting until they are older and less bendable.

 How should I spank?

Try to avoid using your hands to swat your children. Save those for positive touches.

We have yet to find a better spanking target than the butt cheeks. It's a safe place to apply a little discomfort.

When they are little you should use a light weight and preferably flexible implement such as a fly swatter. All you want is enough "sting" to say, "I mean what I say."

Do not spank repetitively. When parents consistently yell at their kids it soon losses its affect. Physical punishment is the same.

Before you apply physical punishment get down to eye level and briefly explain why it is necessary for you to discipline them. Help them understand that you don't enjoy spanking them. Let them know it is for their training.

Afterwards, take a minute to talk with your child about the kind of relationship you want with them and how they can avoid punishment in the future.

Wrapping Up

 

No form of discipline works if the parents are not supportive of each others efforts. Kids seem to have "radar" when it comes to this point. They just seem to know when their parents are in disagreement. 

One contentious parent can destroy all efforts at raising obedient children. Ask yourself: Am I working together with my spouse in matters of discipline?

 When you take time to be deliberate about your discipline you are communicating some  important messages to your child. 

• I care about my relationship with you.
• I have your best interest in mind.
• We are in this together.
• Learning to obey is crucial.
• You can count on me to guide you in a safe direction.

 As Christians we need to understand that it is not possible to spank the sinful nature out of a child. Only Jesus can take care of that. 

More than anything you can do for your offspring...are you trusting God to work in their lives? Are you praying for them? Are you praying with them?